As a writer, movie maker, and a free spirit I have had some really bizzare life experiences, one of which stands out as being pretty epically freaky, so grab your crucifix and your holy water and tag along with me on this journey back in time to the early 90s!
One christmas I had come back to my home town from Orlando Florida to visit family, my boyfriend and I were driving around in his hopped up z28 camero and ran into some of our friends. As usual they were partying and this year there was going to be an added attraction; they were going to have an exorcism in their home! They offered us the opportunity to join them. A real live exorcism at midnight?!?! My first thought was; this is why I don’t live here anymore, and secondly, what else did I have to do on Christmas eve?
So, after a few swigs of tequila for bravery, my boyfriend and I drove over to the house mentioned and pulled up in the driveway. We were immediately accosted by a middle aged blonde lady who ran up to our car shouting hysterically; “Demons are flying all over this house!” She said waving her arms “ If you are not prepared spiritually, you will be possessed!” She announced, her eyes were wild as she searched our faces for proof of our spiritual powers. She was dead serious.
“Are you prepared?” She demanded.
My boyfriend and I looked at each other and shrugged, we had no idea.
“Come on!” The woman ordered us dramatically and strode back towards the house. Reluctantly we got out of the car, turned off Pink Floyd, and followed her into the small dark rock house. Creepy!
As we entered through the back door, we could hear chanting, prayers, and a low moaning sound. In the living room, lit by a dim light was a circle of familiar faces. My hand sought my boyfriends and we clutched each other rather fearfully as we watched with growing horror the bizarre scene unfolding before us.
It has always been of interest to me, that in small towns the wild crazy party animals who were our friends all considered themselves Christians on Sundays and were well equipped to provoke a demon in an exorcism with all the confidence of Dean Winchester.
In the center of the prayer circle a young man was sitting on the floor hunched over and clutching a cardboard box. Occasionally he would growl, wretch, and spit into the box. He might have been on drugs, drunk, or suffering the ill effects of a bad burrito, but nevertheless, it had been decided that he was demon possessed and must be exorcised on Christmas eve.
Between these sessions of spitting into the box, he would moan and mumble incoherent things to no one in particular. At this point I felt actually shocked and fearful of my own safety. Also, I became reluctant to stay for whatever would happen next. By the look on my boyfriend’s face he was of the same persuasion, even though he had drunk more tequila than I had. He was also giving me sarcastic smug looks, he would be sure to blame me for all of this later.
Damn my wild side! I thought to myself as I had many times before.
Suddenly a small lady with a peaceful expression on her face, not unlike the woman psychic from Polterguiest, turned to me and whispered;
“He has told us the name of the demon that possesses him, its name is Zorg!” She said this as matter of factly as though she was asking me if I wanted a cup of coffee. Staring at her in horror, I waited for instructions on what we should do next.
One of the guys who was standing in the circle suddenly spoke up authoritativelyl; “All join hands, we are going to cast out this demonic spirit right now! If anyone is not sure that they are right with the Lord you had better run now! This demon is going to leave his body and its gotta go somewhere!”
He looked around the circle expectantly, and I felt his eyes light on me and my boyfriend, my feet became rooted to the ground in fear. I had an instant of fight or flight reflex come over me and I would have run out the door if I wasn’t frozen in terror!
No one left the circle and everyone joined hands and began rebuking the evil spirit to come out in the name of Jesus. The young man began retching into the box. My boyfriend leaned over to me and whispered urgently into my ear; “I am getting the hell out of here! Are you with me?”
I whispered back; “Hell yes!”
So as everyone shouted, chanted, and prayed loudly, my boyfriend and I ran out the back door. Never was I so glad in my life that my boyfriend had a fast car because we flew out of that driveway and never looked back. I heard later from the grapevine, before we left to go back to Orlando, that the young man who was demon possessed had a full recovery. The demon had been exorcised and he seemed perfectly normal. We were thanked for all our help. I thought about everything that I had experienced over the long long drive on our way back to my home in Orlando and came to this conclusion; There is no place like home. There is no place like home! THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!